Sexual Politics 101:
not an Easy Course
Does anyone care how Black men are portrayed in songs? I haven’t heard any supposedly conscious people address that one yet.
“Our daughters should have a better choice of men, and it starts with men no longer addressing Black women as b****’s and h*’s.”
She also writes the Black man is “responsible for the success or failure of [the Black] relationship.” At least he should do his part.
The statement above relieves Black women of all responsibility in relationships. Wow!!!
How the times have changed. Everyone used to say that men were chauvinist but the pendulum has swung. Women verbally abuse men at every chance they get in every forum. Women do nothing wrong, ever.
Let’s get the pendulum stable in the middle and stop blaming one side over another in relationships. Stop playing the victim role and properly assume your participatory behavior in relationships. PLEASE PEOPLE!!!!
From: Pearl, Jr.
There is going to be opposition because the same mental condition that persists to get us where we are today is the same mental illness that doesn’t see the error of their ways. It’s the man’s fault for the most part, for sure!
Men are leaders, providers and protectors and Black men are failing miserably at doing their duties. The saddest part of all is that they don’t even know what is right anymore, nor do they care.We are living in the era of the Arrogance of Ignorance. So, just know we will get opposition so filled with anger because they can’t accept criticism due to their lack of immaturity.
We certainly have work to do.TOGETHER, WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. GREAT ARTICLE!!!!
From: Mary Alice Miller
What you write is nice… when are the admittedly decent guys going to step up and school the out-of-order brothers?
Not yet has the original issue been addressed or admitted- the ubiquitous disrespect of Black women by Black men described in the article.
Admittedly, women school the young ones. When are the decent men going to step forward and establish order in the Black community?
Not just rhetoric, but stepping to the out-of-order brothers who cause the majority of mayhem in our communities.
This is what the sisters are asking for. We have been patiently waiting for this to occur.
Men in other communities establish and enforce community standards for the benefit of all living there-even if they have to use a baseball bat, or most recently this week, Councilman Vallone and the Assemblyman for Bayside, Queens set up a cash reward for the capture of a male who raped one of their women in an alley. Those men have established community standards and let it be known what is unacceptable in their community.
For us, community standards starts with treating Black women with respect. How hard is that? Why the resistance? Don’t decent Black women deserve respect from our brothers?
We deserved respect (by word and deed) from our brothers. The blanket, blatant disrespect is too common and causes all sorts of problems that racism doesn’t cause, and the government can’t cure (even if it wanted to, which many of us doubt).
From: Mary Alice Miller
No woman is trying to define what a ‘real man’ is. Observation of male culture in other communities (and what they actively establish as community standards) shows everyone that black male culture is lacking.
Your solution is to “get rid of him”. Do you really mean we as a people should get rid of the black males who are problems. How do you propose we do this. Who will address him with ‘sympathy” and teach him how to be a REAL MAN?
That was taken out of context. No, I do not mean get rid of the Black males who are problems. If I meant that I would also say the same thing about the Black females who are problems. Together that would be a whole lot of getting rid of. I’m talking about if that woman knows he is not going to help support her then he should not be who she wants. She should get to stepping. As for your other question, there are males around all of us who are stand-up guys. Whether it be your father, brother, uncle, cousin, neighbor, friend, barber or teacher. These are the people who can teach the brother the error of his ways. Just to give you an example. We all did not have the perfect mother like everyone claims, but there was another female around who taught that female how to be a woman, whether she listened to that lesson or not is another story. It is the same with men.
I hope you see that all I am saying is that if you throw all your weight on one side and ignore the problems on the other side, then all your doing is putting off the work that needs to be done on the other side.
From Mary Alice Miller:
No woman is trying to define what a “real man” is. Observation of male culture in other communities (and what they actively establish as community standards) shows everyone that black male culture is lacking.
Your solution is to “get rid of him”. Do you really mean we as a people should get rid of the Black males who are problems. How do you propose we do this. Who will address him with “sympathy” and teach him how to be a REAL MAN?
If kids are in foster care it is both parents fault, right (if they are alive)? Seems simple to me.
There are many men who take care of their families and many of them, at an ever increasing rate, that are single fathers. Where is the acknowledgment of this? It seems like you and others like you get off on stepping on the necks of men. Find another way to get off sis!!!
-The vast number of Black women with HIV/ AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases were/ are infected by their Black male partners (who somehow think regularly wearing a condom is a responsibility that is worse than catching and spreading disease).-
So again, the women do not share responsibility in 1) making sure he has a condom on, 2) choosing a partner that has some sense instead of dating the same brother with a different name and the same dumb traits.
-The vast number of Black women who have abortions were impregnated by their irresponsible non- condom-wearing Black male partner. A woman who aborts her child may know in her heart that her partner is not going to help her raise his offspring to adulthood. Too many Black women already do this by themselves.-
Again, only the men are irresponsible for the woman getting pregnant. Silly notion! If she knew in her heart as you say, then why is she with him? Riddle me; who is dumb in that equation? With knowledge comes responsibility. If you know, then act. Get rid of him.
There are always two sides to a story and you seem to choose the same side every time. Why is that? The evenhanded person looks at both sides and creates the best solution to the problem. They do not pound on one side of the scales to help throw off the balance and make the other person feel like they did no wrong. I guess since you know me, you know I haven’t addressed the negative stereotypes in songs. I do that every day. As a matter of fact, this is helping address it now.
I do hold other intelligent men partly responsible for this phenomenon because most of them won’t speak up and defend each other on these topics. Men would rather let women rant and rave about these things, ignore them and handle it a different way themselves but sometimes you have to get in the conversation to let them know the other side of the game. That’s why you have all of these women trying to define what a “real man” is instead of men defining it. If a woman should define what a man is, then by the same reasoning, men should define what a “real woman” is. You know women do not want that. In summary, try to find a more holistic approach to Black male and female relationships. It usually is not just one person who is the problem in these cases. In therapy, the first thing they tell you is to stop pointing the finger outwards and start pointing the finger inwards. This will allow you to stop playing the victim role, empower yourself and find better solutions to the problem. It is both genders’ responsibility, not just one. If one person needs to be addressed then usually sympathetic understanding helps change that person more than trying to beat them down psychologically. Peace