Last month, Our Time Press featured a Q&A with Clinton Hill’s Stanley B. White, author of “Because I Said So… That’s What’s for Dinner! The Single Dad’s Guide to Mealtime.” This week, we feature White’s son, “Zo” sharing the recipes for life his father gifted him over the years.
Without the influence of my father, I wouldn’t be the man I am today.
Outside of the endless recipes I now have in my mental repertoire, he taught me what it means to be a man in every sense of the word. The first thing that comes to mind is consistency and showing up for me physically and emotionally whether there was rain, sleet, or snow; even if he was having a bad day down to the sunshine on the good ones; he made it clear to me that showing up is the first part of it all.
He was the first person to help me understand what integrity means to the relationships you build with the people around you. Your word is the only thing you’re responsible for upholding.
Compassion and understanding are universal outlets that we can use to maneuver life; regardless of the emotional toll life may have, how you maneuver your emotions is how people will think about and perceive your character. He taught me the value in being able to articulate myself and always made it a point to make sure I understood how to “tell the story” in a way that leaves no room for interpretation. He also told me to be weary of people committed to misunderstanding you.
Those are just a few things from his mentality that transferred over to how I live my life and I’m thankful he gave me such a solid foundation overall. He never made me feel like my dreams weren’t within my reach as long as I worked towards them. I still hold that sentiment with me today.
In a society where the African American household is systemically oppressed and separated from the start — disconnecting the youth from formative male influences, I am thankful to have had my dad in my life. I have many friends that never got to experience that joy and it’s easy to see how that can negatively affect the understanding of the responsibilities that comes with being a real man.
How you carry yourself is one of the most important things in life. Who you present yourself to be could either take you everywhere you’ve dream of being or nowhere at all — and that’s determined on you.
Emotional intelligence is another nuanced skill set that I was able to pick up from my father, as well as through us working through the things we’ve gone through together. In my family, it allowed me to understand and appreciate the complexities of human nature/ human experience. Sometimes how people react isn’t a reflection of you and your character; it’s more so themselves. He taught me in-spite of that fact we can’t judge people; all we can do is show grace. Another valuable thing he taught me was how to remain logical and level- headed in your thought process.
In this world it’s easy to think, as a man you have to be cold and shut off your emotions… but he always helped me remember that it’s okay to feel, and if I ever felt I needed to express myself he was there with open ears to listen or an active strategy constantly searching for outlets for me I felt comfortable with. He’s just always been there for me all in all. Every football game, every baseball game, every recital or award ceremony there was never a moment in my life he wasn’t there for.
Even when it comes to my music present day, he’s constantly giving me constructive criticism while at the same time always encouraging me to keep going and to have my business in order. It’s an amazing feeling to know that your dad believes in you and it is my belief that one day I’m gonna make him the proudest dad there ever was, achieving my dreams and making it so my family is financially free.
I’ll never be able to “pay him back” for everything he’s instilled in me because there’s no amount of money that equates to a father’s love but just like he was for me, I’ll always be there for him. To the man that made sure I never missed a meal my entire life, my guy, I love you.
Forever and always.
About Lorenzo “TheRealZo” White
TheRealZo describes himself as “an artist from NY whose sound is a blend of smooth vocal influences, including Drake, J Cole, and A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie to name a few. Melodically approaching lyricism in a way that’s entrancing to whoever’s listening or willing to feel something new. Growing up, music was always a part of Zo’s development. He was “classically trained in the violin” and both parents were heavily involved in laying the groundwork for what hip hop is today.
TRZs father worked at “Select Records”. Gold record plaques for hits like “The Humpty Dance” lined the walls. He also heard “many different types of music which would later light the fire within (him) to start creating on his own. “Zo” now produces engineers and writes for multiple artists in NYC.