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Parents Notebook

Parent's Notebook: Unleashing The Power Of Mothers – Rearing A Humane World



Aminisha  with her mother.

Aminisha with her mother.

While parents are urged to attend PTA meetings and join groups protesting countless perceived injustices, media rarely shares information that’s usually obtained by paying a therapist. Considering the dismal statistics on too many of our youth, something more is obviously needed.
The report consisted of brain scans on children from six months, response of the brain to different conflicts, sleeping or awake. Babies from high-conflict homes have higher activation in brain and respond to angry tones. Even during sleep, babies’ brains continue to take in and process angry voices.
For years now, psychologists have been telling couples who yell at one another to stop for the sake of the kids. Such conflict in the home — even when no violence is involved – is associated with a host of negative behavioral and life outcomes for children. These traits, unless cleared, contribute to child’s inability to respond rather than react to situations. To read the NPR article visit
The referenced article brings power to the home base, to parents and since large numbers of households are headed by mothers, we thought it appropriate to include it in this month of Empowering Mothers to Excelling Offspring.
While we are constantly challenged to join some protest against the myriad of perceived abuses, we rarely get opportunities for free access to information that empower while placing the tools for empowerment within your grasp. Please answer the following questions or perform the required steps truthfully in order to make the month one of empowerment. Be brutally honest; it’s been proven (time and time again) that “the truth will set you free”.
We’re talking about internal clearing, leaving you with the ability to identify problems, giving you the ability to create steps to resolve problems rather than simply protesting or punishing. Our intention is to have mothers claim their rightful place as major contributors to the future of the world.
Recall Childhood Memories
1. List the incidents that come to mind under the heading of “Things I hated about my Mother” and, separately, “Things I hated about my Father.” Allow space to add memories in both lists. After the lists are complete for both parents, get ready to make another set of lists.
2. List the incidents that come to mind under the heading of: “Things I loved about my mother” and another for “my father.” Allow space to add memories
In preparing the lists, be specific and state your true feelings at the time. Be honest; tell the truth and provide answers for both parents whether they were in your life or not.
This is called a clearing exercise because there is clinical evidence that one’s interpretation of childhood experiences shapes self-concept, choices and goals in life starting in childhood, as cited in the NPR article, and lingers through adulthood. And it gives advance warning that the once-popular saying, “Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words will never hurt me” loses its validity when we look beyond physical pain and work to clear emotional damage.
The good news is more people of color are discovering and participating in programs that guide individuals in the process of clearing hidden wounds and setting new goals for themselves. Since parents and grandparents are privileged to shape the future, it is important that we clear any obstacles to creating a world which supports our offspring in contributing to a better world. After all, that’s really the possibility that exists. Let’s see what possibilities for change mothers can be.
During the upcoming week, keep a daily record of the following:
1. Praised my child
2. Listened to my child
3. Created opportunities for my child to make decisions
4. Engaged in family-fun activities and trips with my child
5. Assigned chores to boost self-confidence of my child
6. Approved and limited TV programs
7. Had a reading activity with my child
8: Checked homework and folders of my child
9. Communicated with my child’s teacher(s)
10. Involved myself in my child’s school activities.
We invite you to share your uncovering this month. Next week, we’ll feature sharings from readers who have linked behaviors connected to childhood experiences. You are invited to join by sending your email to
Publisher’s note: After we requested Ms. Black’s biographical brief, she decided instead to share her own uncovering with her readers. She wants you to know:

“I was an only child, born in a one traffic light town, Pendleton,SC. I passed an intercollegiate exam that allowed entry into participating colleges after completing 10th grade. By 10th grade I became pregnant, got married and changed the date on the license so that my mother – a real southern Christian – wouldn’t know I was sexually active. I later discovered the source of my father’s emotional dilemma: drinking, arguing and threatening my mother. Years later, I took a Human Potential Course that changed my life. I immediately enrolled my children- all seven- in the appropriate age training. They survived their adolescence and I’m blessed with five adults who I consider my life partners. Parenting is the most rewarding job I’ve ever had and my greatest desire is to have parents recognize their power and fulfil their potential.”
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***Tomorrow, May 10 is the deadline for New York City residents aged 14 to 24 to apply for the Summer Youth Employment Program (SYEP). For more information and to apply visit or call DYCD Youth Connect at (800) 246-4646.

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