Dealing with Grief:

From the Mourning the Death of Loved Ones to Black History Icons

by Fern Gillespie
On March 1, the first day of Women’s History Month 2025, death came in “threes.” Three high profile Black women, who were political, music and business icons died. The legendary Civil Rights shero Hazel Dukes, who was President of the NAACP New York State Conference, former President of the NAACP Board of Directors and prestigious Spingarn Medal honoree.

Angie Stone, Grammy Award nominee and winner of two Soul Train Lady of Soul Awards, who also wrote and performs TV’s “Girlfriends” theme song. Juanita Stephens, the first Black female Vice President of Publicity and Artist Development at MCA Records and renowned for mentoring and managing Bobby Brown and many other music artists.

Within the last two weeks, the music industry lost “Everybody Loves the Sunshine” Roy Ayers; “Soul Man” Sam Moore of Sam & Dave; and Tony! Toni! Tone! Co-founder D’Wayne Wiggins. For Black History Month in February, history making Harvard psychiatrist Dr Alvin Poussaint passed away. The “Iceman” Jerry Butler died. The deaths of disco queen Gwen McCrae and Voletta Wallace, mother of Hip-Hop icon The Notorious B.I.G. And of course, the loss of the incomparable Roberta Flack’s death felt like “Killing Me Softly.”

In 2024, there was a profound, seismic loss of cultural icons. Black historic figures who were changemakers in American culture passed away. This included: James Earl Jones, Erica Ash, Frankie Beverly, Tito Jackson, Quincy Jones, Cissy Houston, John Amos, Willie Mays, Tony Dodd, Judith Jamison, Nikki Giovanni, Richard Parsons, Greg Gumbel, Lou Donaldson, Hinton Battle, Carl Weathers, Louis Gossett Jr, Faith Ringgold, Wally Amos and Richard Parsons.
Within two days during March, legendary funerals were held in Harlem.

The music world gathered at Abyssinian Baptist Church on March 10 to mourn and the loss of the remarkable Roberta Flack and celebrate her life. Streaming services brought audiences to the live presentation with speakers and performers including Rev. Al Sharpton, Stevie Wonder, Lauryn Hill, Wyclef Jean of the Fugees, Alicia Keys, India.Arie, Valerie Simpson, Phylicia Rashad and Dionne Warwick.

On March 12, New York and national politicos honored Hazel Duke at her Mother A.M.E. Zion Church funeral, which was broadcast on CBS-TV. She was saluted by Gov. Kathy Hochul, Leticia James, Mayor Eric Adam s and former Gov. Andrew Cuomo and Hillary Clinton.

These funerals were homegoing celebrations. “We have a group, the Ausar Auset Society that we serve for funerals that comes in with drums and laughter,” said attorney Renaye Brown Cuyler, co-owner of Sealy Cuyler Funeral Home in Brooklyn, told Our Time Press. “The drumming was a transition into another realm. Their program is a celebration of life.”
“That’s the beauty of working in a funeral home.

We recently had a Muslim family with a service of washing of the body and a simple prayer and then they took the body to the cemetery,” she said. “We have families that keep coming back. They tell me they come back because they felt a sense of being at home. In a comfort zone. We can give people even in grief a sense of family.”

Since opening the funeral home 19 years ago, Cuyler and her partner Maria K. Sealy, have branded the business the only funeral home in New York State built from the ground up by two women of color.

Cuyler has been around the funeral home business since childhood. Her grandfather, George E.B. Tabb, was the first African American to own his own funeral service in Williamsburg Virginia in 1926. “My grandfather would take me to the funeral home,” she recalled. “He would let me go into the display room where families were about to see the body for the first time. I would go to church with him and stand with the body. That’s where I developed my non-fear of death.”

Helping people deal the with grief of death is a mission for Patricia Hunter-Bunyan, a Brooklyn psychoanalyst. She is a volunteer counselor with Brooklyn’s Emmanuel Baptist Church’s Healing Our Hearts bereavement counseling ministry.

It’s under the management of servant leader Dominique Stewart. The church holds grief counseling sessions on Zoom twice a year for eight-week sessions. It’s open to the public for free with licensed therapists and social workers helping attendees dealing with grief.

The first session focuses on Mother’s Day, which begins in May. “Many people who have unresolved issues about the death of their mothers usually need to process that and work through it. To try to get some closure or to just understand the relationship of the mother and how it impacts their lives,” Hunter-Bunyan told Our Time Press.

The November sessions begin around Thanksgiving. “It’s usually a family-oriented holiday with family members who come together to celebrate,” she said. “If they are not with their loved ones around that time sometimes it causes grief, pain and suffering.”

Signs when the grief is overwhelming and it’s important to seek professional help, according to Hunter-Bunyan, are losing interest in things that brought you pleasure, not connecting to people, not maintaining personable relationships and sleeping, eating, and drinking a lot.
As a memorial to the legacy of her late husband Legacy.

John Bunyan, who was a coach at Erasmus High School, there will be a street naming in his honor by the school on May 16.
“The best thing that a friend can do for another friend, who is grieving is to listen to them. And don’t make comments,” said Hunter-Bunyan. “Let them know that it’s a safe place. Just let the friend talk. And they will talk through and get out your feelings.”

For more information on Emmanuel Baptist Church’s Healing Our Hearts
contact www.ebcconnects.com